Google Lighthouse
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Lighthouse is an open-source, automated tool for improving the quality of web pages. You can run it against any web page, public or requiring authentication. It has audits for performance, accessibility, progressive web apps, and more.
So, lets run it against that exact page...
Clearly no dogfood here...
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Sadtrombone.jpg.mov
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issue filed.
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@tsaukpaetra but fixing the internet is hard
It's way easier to sit in my lawnchair and yell about how shitty everyone's stuff is.
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Nice. I wish I was around when Gopher was still a thing.
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It's been running on the dev version of my work app for like 15 minutes now. What gives? Are there any requirements on my end that need to be fulfilled in order for the damned thing to work?
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No-one yet?
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@coldandtired not surprising that we're less progressive than ; we do have @boomzilla after all. I think dischorse is poegressive
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@onyx said in Google Lighthouse:
Are there any requirements on my end that need to be fulfilled in order for the damned thing to work?
Yes, your server must answer the request
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@timebandit said in Google Lighthouse:
@onyx said in Google Lighthouse:
Are there any requirements on my end that need to be fulfilled in order for the damned thing to work?
Yes, your server must answer the request
Well, it is publicly available on port 443. But since it requires a login, and it's in developer tools, I figured I can just run it from there and it will work on whatever I have opened.
So, am I the stupid one for assuming that, since it's right there in my browser tools, you can use it to test whatever you can access, without necessarily allowing the whole world to access it?
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@onyx not sure if this requires access from their server or it just use your browser's connection
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@onyx said in Google Lighthouse:
So, am I the stupid one for assuming that, since it's right there in my browser tools, you can use it to test whatever you can access, without necessarily allowing the whole world to access it?
I mean... kind of. It's Google; they want access to everything.
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Despite my troll, they actually gleaned something from it!
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WTF is a "progressive web app"?
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@timebandit said in Google Lighthouse:
Reliable - Load instantly and never show the downasaur, even in uncertain network conditions.
Fast - Respond quickly to user interactions with silky smooth animations and no janky scrolling.
... and a pony, and a bicycle...
Oh, sorry, I though we were making a list for Santa...
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@timebandit And when you test this page...
Performance is really lacking
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@tsaukpaetra said in Google Lighthouse:
@onyx said in Google Lighthouse:
no janky scrolling.
So in other words: a static webpage?
Just a JPG of the page, sized to your screen. No scrolling at all
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@timebandit said in Google Lighthouse:
@tsaukpaetra said in Google Lighthouse:
@onyx said in Google Lighthouse:
no janky scrolling.
So in other words: a static webpage?
Just a
JPGFLV of the page, sized to your screen. No scrolling at allFTFY
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TIL Google considers websites trying to find out where I'm sitting to be a "best practice". https://github.com/GoogleChrome/lighthouse/blob/master/lighthouse-core/audits/dobetterweb/geolocation-on-start.js
Fuck off, Google. Go choke on an entire bag of dicks. There are a few cases where getting location info makes at least some sense, e.g. maps or restaurant locators that would allow me to find a place to have lunch nearby, but that's it. There's no reason for an eshop or a news site to ever need to know my location.
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@blek Uhmm, the way I read it, it seems to be exactly the opposite...
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@blek said in Google Lighthouse:
There's no reason for an eshop or a news site to ever need to know my location.
I can think of a reason for a news site to know: to serve local news. Also, an eshop might need to know to work out the best warehouse to dispatch from for the quickest delivery. Then again, in both cases, you could just be prompted for a postcode or similar.
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@vault_dweller Oh, poop, you're right. https://developers.google.com/web/tools/lighthouse/audits/geolocation-on-load
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@raceprouk Regarding shops - what if I'm ordering something while I'm away from home? I'd assume they pick the warehouse based on the shipping address I give them when I actually submit an order, not based on where I currently am.
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@blek said in Google Lighthouse:
what if I'm ordering something while I'm away from home?
That's not allowed, in the same way that it's impossible for anyone to be in a country and want to use another language for any reason, or for anyone to want to separate language from number/date/etc. formats.
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@coldandtired said in Google Lighthouse:
want to separate language from number/date/etc. formats.
and on that note, fuck you IntelliJ
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@blek said in Google Lighthouse:
what if I'm ordering something while I'm away from home
A friend just tried to do that on Amazon (and have it shipped to where she was). "Please re-enter the card number of confirm" Um, don't have it. Fine, ship it home. Amazon: "Shipped!"
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@dcon said in Google Lighthouse:
@blek said in Google Lighthouse:
what if I'm ordering something while I'm away from home
A friend just tried to do that on Amazon (and have it shipped to where she was). "Please re-enter the card number of confirm" Um, don't have it. Fine, ship it home. Amazon: "Shipped!"
That's actually a security feature - if someone gets control of your account they can only ship stuff to previously known adresses, thus massively reducing the usefulness of this takeover.
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@rhywden said in Google Lighthouse:
@dcon said in Google Lighthouse:
@blek said in Google Lighthouse:
what if I'm ordering something while I'm away from home
A friend just tried to do that on Amazon (and have it shipped to where she was). "Please re-enter the card number of confirm" Um, don't have it. Fine, ship it home. Amazon: "Shipped!"
That's actually a security feature - if someone gets control of your account they can only ship stuff to previously known adresses, thus massively reducing the usefulness of this takeover.
I recognized it for that. But it was definitely an inconvenience for her... (instead of receiving it yesterday here, she has to wait until tomorrow when she gets home)
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@dcon said in Google Lighthouse:
"Please re-enter the card number of confirm" Um, don't have it.
I've memorized my CC# just because of the amount of random stuff I've bought online...
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@bb36e said in Google Lighthouse:
@dcon said in Google Lighthouse:
"Please re-enter the card number of confirm" Um, don't have it.
I've memorized my CC# just because of the amount of random stuff I've bought online...
Mine's in keepass. Which was very lucky one time when I went to the vet and forgot my wallet...
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@bb36e said in Google Lighthouse:
I've memorized my CC# just because of the amount of random stuff I've bought online...
That's a dangerous game. It makes impulse purchases way too easy. :P
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@heterodox said in Google Lighthouse:
That's a dangerous game. It makes impulse purchases way too easy.
As the owner of a random VPS for the next two years, yes!
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@timebandit said in Google Lighthouse:
@timebandit And when you test this page...
Performance is really lacking
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@heterodox said in Google Lighthouse:
@bb36e said in Google Lighthouse:
I've memorized my CC# just because of the amount of random stuff I've bought online...
That's a dangerous game. It makes impulse purchases way too easy. :P
My wife lost her wallet a couple of months ago. I still haven't reported it to the credit card companies yet. Whoever has them is spending less than she did.
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@raceprouk said in Google Lighthouse:
Also, an eshop might need to know to work out the best warehouse to dispatch from for the quickest delivery.
Presumably you're giving them a full address at some point.
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@boomzilla said in Google Lighthouse:
@raceprouk said in Google Lighthouse:
Also, an eshop might need to know to work out the best warehouse to dispatch from for the quickest delivery.
Presumably you're giving them a full address at some point.
I should have gone with what Argos does: detect your nearest stores to check stock levels in case you want to order and pick up.
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@raceprouk Yeah, I use that a lot with Home Depot and Lowes.
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@slavdude The opposite of a "Nazi web app"?