Funny Site
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Have you ever worked with a DBA who was just Angry?
I like the how to piss off a dba section.
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@CourteousCurt said in Funny Site:
Have you ever worked with a DBA who was just Angry?
Have you ever worked with one who wasn't?
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@loopback0 said in Funny Site:
Have you ever worked with one who wasn't?
Damnit fbmac...... not again!
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Ten out of fucking ten! The absolute madman!
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Thanks, DumbBox, for giving a spam site a bunch of free traffic.
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Funny enough, it's still for sale apparently.
Though why would you buy it for that much?
Funny enough, I can buy it from GoDaddy for $2195
Filed under: Talk about competitive pricing...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in Funny Site:
Though why would you buy it for that much?
Presumably it used to get enough traffic to make it worth that much? The post here suggests it was a site with content.
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@loopback0 said in Funny Site:
The post here suggests it was a site with content.
Yes, like this:
Not sure if the DBA at your workplace is angry or mildly disgruntled? Take the quiz below to find out.
- Does your DBA work no more than 8 hours of the day?
- Does your DBA put in at least two hours of his work day during hours that developers aren’t around (7am - 9am)?
- Does your DBA mysteriously disappear for hours at a time? Especially when you need him?
- Does your DBA think everything is fixed with a database?
- Does your DBA want all the power but none of the responsibility?
- Is your DBA obsessed by security and logins?
- Does your DBA always insist that "It’s an application issue”?
- Are you greeted with a sigh of disappointment whenevere you ask for DBA assistance in your daily work tasks?
- Does your DBA extend project timelines by two weeks in order to save 10 megabytes of database server disk space?
If your answer is "Yes" to at least three of these questions then your DBA is angry.
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I get that some people believe that these necros are funny. But you're ruining it for yourself and for future generations. Old threads are a limited resource, and you're destroying the possibility for future 16, 24 or even 32 year necros with this irresponsible behaviour. ()
Filed under: A 32 year necro would be glorious indeed
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@cvi said in Funny Site:
you're destroying the possibility for
future 16, 24 or even 32 year16 years from now, 24 years from now or even 32 years from now necros with this irresponsible behaviour. ()FTFNB
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@cvi said in Funny Site:
you're destroying the possibility for future 16, 24 or even 32 year necros with this irresponsible behaviour
That's the thing about time. It keeps on going. Threads keep aging.
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Bringing this thread back on topic (), more for my own interests than anything else:
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@Vault_Dweller ooh. It had a feedback section...
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Get one of each and let him choose?
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@RaceProUK That would probably make him even more angry. And it would cost more!
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@anotherusername Could always get a gift voucher instead.
Can you get prostitute gift vouchers?
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@antiquarian said in Funny Site:
@cvi said in Funny Site:
But you're ruining it for yourself and for future generations.
sure. i think of them, that's why i'm showing them this stuff that they will have to deal with in their adult life now. That way they can learn to deal with it in an adult manner now, in a controlled and safe environment, so when they encounter it outside this controlled environment they can handle it as a proper and upstanding member of society.
Now, would you please stop trying me how to raise the children placed under my care? If you feel i am not performing my duty satisfactorily with your children, whom i will note at this juncture have not been placed under my care, you may of course lodge any appropriate complaints with my supervisor as well as withdraw your children from my care should you desire.
There, now that we have that out of the way would you mind taking a couple of steps to the side so that me and the children who have been entrusted into my care by their parents can pass? Thank you.
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@accalia said in Funny Site:
Now, would you please stop trying me how to raise the children placed under my care?
Someone trusted you with children?
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@antiquarian said in Funny Site:
@accalia said in Funny Site:
Now, would you please stop trying me how to raise the children placed under my care?
Someone trusted you with children?
they have actually.
most of them are even willing to do so a SECOND time.
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@accalia said in Funny Site:
most of them are even willing to do so a SECOND time.
they must really hate their kids
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@accalia said in Funny Site:
most of them are even willing to do so a SECOND time.
That'll change when they get back the kid's spelling test results.
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@hungrier said in Funny Site:
@accalia said in Funny Site:
most of them are even willing to do so a SECOND time.
That'll change when they get back the kid's spelling test results.
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@loopback0 said in Funny Site:
@Tsaukpaetra said in Funny Site:
Though why would you buy it for that much?
Presumably it used to get enough traffic to make it worth that much? The post here suggests it was a site with content.
No, apparently because it's a "special" domain name (i.e. it has dictionary words inside) it is more expensive so not just anyone will want to buy it.
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@antiquarian What are you, some sort of paedophile?
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@loopback0 said in Funny Site:
That's the thing about time. It keeps on going. Threads keep aging.
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@accalia said in Funny Site:
in a controlled and safe environment
So, like not WTDWTF?
Hear hear! Kids, go fbnecro threads elsewhere(tm).
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@loopback0 said in Funny Site:
Presumably it used to get enough traffic to make it worth that much? The post here suggests it was a site with content.
Not a lot of it, according to archive.org. The "piss off a DBA" page:
- When working on a project that requires new tables and schemas wait until the day of release to production before bringing the DBA into the loop. When he scoffs at your table design tell the VP who wants the project done that the DBA is not being a "Team Player".
- Load as much in line SQL as possilbe in your applications.
- Create production processes that run on test. Then when they break or data is lost tell the CIO it's the DBAs fault.
- Create a lot stored procedures that use processor intensive cursors.
- Go up to your dba at 4:25 (he leaves at 4:30, you leave at 6) and ask him to push a change to production
- When the DBA tells you that "this is a development issue.", respond emphatically, "NO - this is a database issue!"
- Put all your business logic in your sproc
- Tell the DBA, "But I need this change now - this is a production issue!"
- Tell the DBA, "I need to make a new table."
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@PJH You're supposed to involve a DBA when you need a new table?
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@CarrieVS said in Funny Site:
@PJH You're supposed to involve a DBA when you need a new table?
That was going to be my question.
@Gurth said in Funny Site:
Not sure if the DBA at your workplace is angry or mildly disgruntled? Take the quiz below to find out.
- Does your DBA work no more than 8 hours of the day?
- Does your DBA put in at least two hours of his work day during hours that developers aren’t around (7am - 9am)?
- Does your DBA mysteriously disappear for hours at a time? Especially when you need him?
- Does your DBA think everything is fixed with a database?
- Does your DBA want all the power but none of the responsibility?
- Is your DBA obsessed by security and logins?
- Does your DBA always insist that "It’s an application issue”?
- Are you greeted with a sigh of disappointment whenevere you ask for DBA assistance in your daily work tasks?
- Does your DBA extend project timelines by two weeks in order to save 10 megabytes of database server disk space?
If your answer is "Yes" to at least three of these questions then your DBA is angry.
Apparently (wearing one of my many hats), I'm an angry DBA (#6, #7, and #8). Re #8, you'll get a sigh of disappointment from me if you think you need to consult me before adding a table. :P
And if a reports developer tells me one more time that there's something wrong with the database because Business Objects is giving them a permissions error, my head is going to detach from my neck and fly around the room screaming obscenities.
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@heterodox said in Funny Site:
I'm an angry DBA (#6, #7, and #8). Re #8, you'll get a sigh of disappointment from me if you think you need to consult me before adding a table.
If you had our dev team you might change your mind about that. There have been a couple of times where they've added tables, then a couple of releases later wanted to rename the table after I'd already added it to replication.
The table name shouldn't have had an s on the end.
I don't care either way, but couldn't your team have figured that out before creating the table in the first place?
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@antiquarian Ah, I've never worked with replication (I'm an app DBA, not an infrastructure DBA) so I don't know how much of a pain in the ass that may be.
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@heterodox said in Funny Site:
my head is going to detach from my neck and fly around the room screaming obscenities
...that kinda sounds really fun to watch.
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@anonymous234 said in Funny Site:
@heterodox said in Funny Site:
my head is going to detach from my neck and fly around the room screaming obscenities
...that kinda sounds really fun to watch.
TIL: @antiquarian is a lost soul.
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@CarrieVS said in Funny Site:
@PJH You're supposed to involve a DBA when you need a new table?
Yeah, Data Base Architect.
She always wanted to add columns like
BIA_CREATED_ON
,BIA_CREATED_BY
,BIA_UPDATED_ON
etc.
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@heterodox said in Funny Site:
Ah, I've never worked with replication (I'm an app DBA, not an infrastructure DBA) so I don't know how much of a pain in the ass that may be.
It's not so bad any more if you're on SQL Server 2012 or later, but you used to have to remove the table from replication, do the rename, put it back, then reinitialize all subscriptions, which can take a while if you're replicating a half-terabyte database.
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@CarrieVS
Can''t you just go to Ikea?
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@antiquarian said in Funny Site:
It's not so bad any more if you're on SQL Server 2012 or later, but you used to have to remove the table from replication, do the rename, put it back, then reinitialize all subscriptions, which can take a while if you're replicating a half-terabyte database.
Ah, gotcha. I don't think that's the case with Data Guard.
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@Luhmann said in Funny Site:
@CarrieVS
Can''t you just go to Ikea?Dealing with even the angriest DBA is less painful than a trip to Ikea.
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@tufty said in Funny Site:
@antiquarian What are you, some sort of paedophile?
Well, he's already been doxxed and it turns out his name is Peter File.
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@antiquarian said in Funny Site:
The table name shouldn't have had an s on the end.
I don't care either way, but couldn't your team have figured that out before creating the table in the first place?the table name is now part of the internal API and can't be changed. Next time either plan your name better or realise that the internal name of a table doesn't actually matter so live with it
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@kt_ said in Funny Site:
@tufty said in Funny Site:
@antiquarian What are you, some sort of paedophile?
Well, he's already been doxxed and it turns out his name is Peter File.
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@Luhmann said in Funny Site:
@CarrieVS
Can''t you just go to Ikea?I love coincidences … just as I read this, the next song my computer switches to is Kas by CPeX (“ ’n kas van d’n Ikea”).
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@Gurth said in Funny Site:
@Luhmann said in Funny Site:
@CarrieVS
Can''t you just go to Ikea?I love coincidences … just as I read this, the next song my computer switches to is Kas by CPeX (“ ’n kas van d’n Ikea”).
Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norse men?
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@loopback0 said in Funny Site:
Dealing with even the angriest DBA is less painful than a trip to Ikea.
You will need to get visas to go to Ikea
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@dse said in Funny Site:
@loopback0 said in Funny Site:
Dealing with even the angriest DBA is less painful than a trip to Ikea.
You will need to get visas to go to Ikea
Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men?